Dear Carrie:
It was back in May that I wrote to you, and I still haven't gotten a response, but that's OK. I know you've been real busy with lawsuits and stuff. Which is sort of why I'm writing now.
You may remember that, in that first letter, I took you to task for whining that people who were criticizing you were "undermining your constitutional rights." I still stand by that, because you don't have a constitutional right to have everyone agree with you or even be nice to you over your beliefs. I mean, you should see some of the mail I get.
But despite our differences, please believe I'm not getting any joy out of your recent troubles, which apparently involve some sex tape you made as a teenager that surfaced during your lawsuit against the Miss U.S.A. people.
I sincerely felt bad for you when I read that the tape was first revealed in a settlement conference when the pageant's lawyers played it -- in front of not only your lawyers, but also your mom. That was just low, and mean, and uncalled for. I wanted to kick the pageant's lawyers in the behind when I read about that, because I'm a parent myself. But I need to ask you a question, and this is one that has nothing to do with gay marriage or politics or any of that stuff. Girl, what in God's name were you thinking?
I'm not just talking about the apparent assumption you had that the tape would never surface. Not that that's not a mind-blowingly stupid assumption all by itself. If there's one thing anyone who watches TV or reads a newspaper should know, it's that the more famous you get, the more likely it is that a tape like that or racy pictures are going to come out.
Not only to enter the pageant in the first place, but then to sue them over losing your title, knowing that that tape was out there somewhere, is -- well, in May, I was charitable and described you as merely ignorant, but the only word I can think of for what you did is dumb.
But that's not the dumbest thing. The dumbest thing was in making the tape in the first place. Oh, I know that some young people these days consider that sending nude or sexy pictures of themselves to people is no big deal. I've heard about this "sexting" fad, where girls sending naked pics via text or e-mail is considered fun and edgy.
But see, those young folks are dumb, too. Because they've basically guaranteed that, whatever success they obtain, those pictures are going to be out there waiting to torpedo it. They'll have to always wonder if some sleazebag is going to ring them up and say, "Guess what I got?"
That's if they're lucky. If they're unlucky, that sleazebag is going to be calling up one of those bottom-feeding Internet sites and tabloids and seeing how much cash they can get for visuals of a famous person flashing their naughty bits.
If they're really unlucky, like you, El Sleazo will be selling it to the other side in any lawsuit they're in, so opposing counsel can play it for their mom. Next thing they know, the fame and fortune they were hoping for turns into a gig co-hosting a fifth-rate reality show with Tonya Harding and that kid from "Diff'rent Strokes" that ended up with the felony convictions.
Carrie, maybe you can use this fiasco to do some good. Maybe you can spread the word to the young girls of America: Sending naked pictures or videos of yourself isn't funny or edgy, or sexy. It's not even, as you apparently thought, a romantic gesture to a guy you're crazy about. It's just dumb if you want to ever have any kind of success in life that you can hold on to, whether that success is having a home and family, becoming a corporate CEO or being Miss U.S.A.
Good luck, and God bless.
Dusty Rhoades lives, writes and practices law in Carthage. Contact him at dustyr@nc.rr.com.
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